MONKICHI DILEMMA
Fuck this shit.. Fooling around is my forte.. But to get caught up in one is something new. I swore before if I found someone I really like, Id settle down and be good. But this is a whole new level. I am SMITTENed and all I can think about is him. We did not kiss, we did not hold hands, we held FINGERS (before his sis told him; DONT HOLD HER HAND!).
Rundown of story:
Hsquare picked me up at home to go for predrink at his. I rushed, face made up but hair not done, wearing not the pair of shoes I wanted. Anyhow, we arrived. He was still in his homeshirt and berms, cute and all grinning like the Monkichi he is. Settled ourselves at the sofa at his living room playing rock band. Hey Im a pretty good singer/drummer:)
An hour plus into the game, he finally showered. I then found out that his lil 18 year old brother can only leave when their parents are asleep. Waited a further 15minutes and then I realised it was close to 1am and Mimi, Daven, Nang and Vicky were waiting. So, I told them (including the sister) that I had to leave and meet them. I called 2 cabs,one for Haru as she had to go home (not feeling well) and one more for whoever. Initial plan was for Haru and I to share cab but then we could not go into Velvet without his guestlist. Therefore, he got changed and left with us. Haru took one cab, Zany, Carol, him and myself shared the other cab. I suspected that the sister was unhappy from this point on; taking her brother with me and making her go with the little brother).
We arrived at the Velvet. Vicky had to go Attica for a friend's bday by then and the other three were there. At first, I thought he could only sign in 2 people so I gave the guestlist to Nang and Daven knowing I can sign myself and Mimi in. But, he said he could sign all in. The four of them then went to the Velvet bar first before I headed off with him to meet old gayboy who likes having these athletes arnd him lol. Met with him (and his crew) for a short 5 minutes and we left for Velvet.
I saw the bunch at the bar at the corner of my eye but I had to know where his table was first. Once we settled, I was introduced round the table. I hope/know that he felt good "showing me off". I mean hey, not being THAT big headed but I was probably the most gorgeous out of the table. Shared a few drinks with birthday boy Nichi and I knew he was gone almost instantly!
So, we settled further in at his sofa. A fat dude started hitting on me, introducing himself and shit. And, it didnt help that his sister arrived a few moments before that. I rejected him politely (duh, given him on my another side is smokin) and Monkch whispered; that guy is totally hitting on you. I just laughed it off and motioned to leave the table to find Nang and crew. Being a gentleman, he lead the way. He did not hold my hand but rather hold my FINGER. As we passed big sis, she said the spicy words; DO NOT HOLD HER HAND! and to actually hear it loud and clear, I just gave myself a huge grin. She is overprotective, snobbish and insulting, and has brother complex and low self-esteemed.
But, we left for the Velvet bar nonetheless and we did "Kiss of Death" together. I told him I owed him a shot but he would not make me pay for his. So, we went Dutch and when the drinks came *snap* I took a picture. I am still smiling as I am looking at the picture :) After that shot, we sat at Cindy's table and well, brief introduction was made. A dude friend of his came to the table (most prob Zany) and said hi to the girls. He said that Mimi was pretty hot and Monkch had to say that she is too old for him, wtf! I am not young myself -____-
anws, his sister came not long after. Being a polite and well mannered young lady, I went over w him to say hi to her. She then waved her hand at me saying: I dont like you. I was surprised and a bit taken aback so I ignored that comment and he looked at me and whispered; Sorry, my sis hates everybody! Went back to sit with the ladies right after.
As soon as sis left, he sat with me. He was gone.. Head leaning back and texting at his friends frantically asking if theyre alright. We left for Attica looking for Ben (who was obviously drunk). Attica would not allow them in anymore, so we went to Zirca. Was there for barely 15minutes and the club was closed. Daven and Sharon then sent me home before kidnapping Mimi for round 4!
Why am I in a dilemma? Why am I insecure? Why am I afraid to fall more deeply than I already am?
Coz I know he is decent. At least seems decent. He did not touch me or try and be funny with me. He listened to his sis. He looked after his friends. Even though both of us kept disappearing time and time again to look for our friends, he will eventually come looking for me.
It would have been easier if he were just another one of my toys. But this is not the case, I do not want to make him my toy. I do want to make this a relationship that is worthwhile. But, is he up for the chase? Is he even interested in that way? More than just friends? THAT I'm totally clueless. As Haru adviced, he is nice and decent but I will have to "wrap him around my fingers", probably like how Q has Gwen wrapped around her fingers. Fuck me!
