Yoddecha Sityodtong: “When you love something, it creates an intense passion to excel in it. Find something that you absolutely love and follow it. Ignore your fears and doubts. Just love what you do and you will see magic appear in your life.”

About me:
One of e most rational, honest, logical, frank n straightforward person ull ever meet in ur lifetime.

My pros n cons list
In everything I do,be it everyday chores or relationships, this list exists, most of e time. It doesn't mean I access everything based on its resume/merits as one puts it. But more on the advantages n disadvantages it gives me when I'm in the situation. It has made me a stronger, safer and protected person all at the same time. One may think itz queer and cold,bt this characteristic of mine brings me to where I am today, shielding and protecting me from making the gravest mistakes.

An example is when I broke up with my ex; the con list was more overwhelming than the pro list. And,I did not regret being the bigger person,standing up to the unjust that was taking place. I was hurt but I had the satisfaction of having a definite answer and making the right decision.

To my Dear Nezu:
I spoke w her last night abt my ex. Maybe it wasn't the right time. Maybe she is a sharer,but not much of a listener. I dunno why I told her, knowing she is sensitive and all..Mayb itz coz.. in her,I hope to find a best fren, a life partner n a lover..n I want her to knw that part of my life. I want her to know me.. not just the me that she likes because I offered my help and assistance so that she can get out of the deep dark hole which she plunged into when she broke up with Jess. No! I want her to know and love the queer me, who does the pros and cons list in my head in everything that I do, the kiddish me, who whines and pouts when I'm not given my candy, the jealous me who gets nervous whenever she said she's going to meet girls.

But, I might be expecting too much in this rship.. Maybe she is not ready to accept me regardless of my past. Maybe she doesnt want to rush into things with me coz she knows that long distance sucks and she doesnt want to feel the pain (again) knowing she cant be with me. Sigh~It just bothers me at times because of the many buts and ifs and maybes.

One thing I know for sure though: I have never doubted being with her since we met that very Xmas eve night. I had butterflies in my stomach. I felt fidgety during the whole Avatar movie. I wanted to hold her hand during the movie. It didnt feel awkward kissing her. In fact, it was the first time ever that I want to keep making out.

So, dear Nezu. Im sorry if you did not sign up for this. I am prepared for the worst. I am a strong person. Ive been built strong and hardy. I dont cry easy. I dont beg. But, I do know that I want to be with you.

<3